Influenster #NurtureVoxBox

Okay, seriously, who doesn't life getting free stuff? And what is even better is that it is awesome stuff that will help be a better mommy. Influenster sent me their latest Nurture Voxbox packed full of awesome goodies that I can't wait to try out:

• Non-Drowsy Naturals Dramamine
• Not real sure about this one. We don't have a lot of motion sickness at my house and ginger was the devil when I was pregnant, so we shall see.
• Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen (Sensitive and Sport)
• With summer fun on the horizon, I cannot wait to try these out!
• Hado Labo Tokyo Anti-Aging Facial Mask
• PAMPERING TIME!
• Red Vines
• I will have to hide these from my kiddos... :D
• Attitude Little Ones Shampoo
• We will see how Miss Priss likes this new shampoo...
• Skinfix Diaper Rash Balm
• And a little something for the Little Man
• Coupon for a free bag of Ore-Ida Extra Crispy Fries or Tots
• Okay, really who doesn't love fries?
• Coupon for a free Uncle Ben's Rice Product
• I am excited about this one because I have never used Uncle Ben's
•  Plus a couple more coupons to receive discounts on some of these products
• You can never go wrong with giving me coupons!

I cannot wait to try out all these amazing products! Stay tuned for more details because I will certainly be letting you know how these go.

Disclaimer: Influenster sent me all these complementary products for testing and reviewing.

Yet another sleepless night...

For no apparent reason, I am back, yet again feeling tired, while sleep alludes me. With no more thesis to write or books mandated to read, one would think sleep would find me much easier. Nope! Graduating with my Masters has left somewhat of a void that has been filled with nonsense. I have a list of hundreds of books, yet I have only read what scholars would deem garbage. Why? Because I can. I have also gone, dare I say, weeks all together without reading any book. Shame... Shame... Why again? Because I am spent at the end of the day, yet I can't sleep.

I suppose my most recent excuse would be my wonderful little boy who finds it amusing to play soccer with my bladder. Yes, that is right, another male to add to the Willden Brood. Little Mister has no name as of yet. It seems funny to me. Calliope for so long was going to be Gillian, yet there is no way that Gillian would have worked for her. Jared and I have tossed around tons of names, and nothing has stuck. Sure, we have our favorites, but with Calliope it was so organic and, well, it just fit. It was as though she had always been Calliope, and it would be ridiculous to call her anything else. As always, people have offered their opinions and suggestions, but nothing has even come close.

I suppose it is good thing that he will not be here until February. I remember my anxiety over Calliope's arrival and how truly afraid I was. Now it seems like I have always had her, and now I couldn't tell you what I would do without her. She is my little shadow, and although, I may not show it all the time, I adore her constant questioning and companionship. Five minutes of bathroom time alone is a feat, but I wouldn't have her any other way.

My new fear is not that I will make a suitable parent for our new addition. I have managed to keep Calliope in one piece and alive for over two years, which is no small victory as fearless as she is, so I think I can do it again with our new little one. My new fear is how my sweet little girl is going to  react to having a little brother. As previously mentioned, it has been "The Calliope Show" for over two years now, what will she do when she has to share 24/7? How will she react when I can't just drop what I am doing and cater to her every whim? I worry what she is going to do when I have to go the hospital. How will she react?

I am sure my anxieties are silly, but I can't help but worry that she will feel neglected and abandoned. She has been my world since the very moment I found out I was pregnant with her and has only grown as I have watched her become a beautiful little girl. Oh, how her world is going to change!

I am sure she will be fine and that my worries are all for not. I was told about Mother's Guilt, but no one could have prepared this already over worrier for the worry to come. Inhale, exhale...

Adventures of a Stay-at-Home Mom

So, I don't know if I should be embarrassed or excited that it is nearly two years since my last post... Life has been, well, life. And busy at that. I was giggling at myself as I read old post and thinking how much life has changed in somewhat of a short time.

Obviously, Calliope made her grand appearance on Valentine's Day 2011, and it has been "The Calliope Show" pretty much nonstop since then. I can't complain too much though; she brings more joy to my life than I could ever imagine. Also I gave up my "glamorous" career to stay at home with her, so I can't be too disappointed at how that turned out.

I do have to mention that I thought life would be a little calmer with me at home, but I was surprisingly mistaken. Grading papers and coming up with lesson plans have been replaced with busy hands ready to grab anything and everything and a trying to manage a home on a budget... Losing an income has forced, or I will say inspired, me to come up with some creative ways to make our home run somewhat smoothly. I am not quite the Crazy Coupon Lady, but I don't think she is crazy anymore...

I am also writing my thesis to complete my Masters degree. I don't know what I am going to do with it once I finish, but I was too far along to just quit. I guess I will just be a highly educated mommy for the time being. I know, I know, education is not a waste, but having to write a novella is not my idea of a good time. I will say that I have written 45 pages so far, and it is a lot easier than I had anticipated. One day I will write my book. Yes, I am one of those English majors who wants to write a book one day. Surprise, surprise.

I have also become somewhat of an insomniac for a reason that is not apparent to me. It is currently 11:50 p.m., and there is now signs of sleepiness in sight. One would think that I could go to bed, but being at home has perpetuated by busy mind, and this rambling is part of the result. I have looked at Pintrest until it has become somewhat boring because I haven't seen anything new in a very long time. Facebook is boring... I could write on my thesis, but who wants to do that? So I thought I would give this a go although it is rather pointless because anyone who reads this already know what is going on in my life.

Well, I can see that I have nothing really interesting to add, so I will save my tantalizing stories for another sleepless night.

Catching up...

I feel like this is rather pointless now that I live five minutes from those of you who will read this, but I figured that I should at least give a little blurb since it has been months since I have last written. So far life in Seymour, is everything that I expected: quiet, nice, and at times... well... boring. I am much more appreciative of having a Wal Mart right down the street, now that I don't have one. I am almost nostalgic for the times when I did not have a yard, because that meant that there was not a yard of the loudest dogs in all of history right beside it. There is something unnerving about walking to your car at 6:00 in the morning and then all the sudden hearing the ferocity of a booming bark only feet from you right as you are unlocking the door to the car. Oh, and the midnight seranades from the dogs are just Heavenly... I am finally getting used to the drive. I kind of like it to be honest. Jared and I have gotten to ride together every Monday, Thursday, and Friday, and it has been nice to be able to spend time with him in the morning. On the days that I have to drive alone, it gives me time to think.

The house is finally coming along. Slowly, but surely, the cardboard boxes are disappearing and the little things that make a house a home are coming together. I absolutely love my house, except for I think it is too big right now. We have almost completely shut off the two extra bedrooms, and only go in there when we absolutely have to, and that hall is endless. I never realized how convenient it was to have almost no space. At least then, when I was talking to Jared I knew he could hear me. So many times, I have enjoyed nice conversations with myself, thinking that Jared was right there, and come to find out he is a mile away in the living room.

Calliope, that is the baby's name for those of you who have not heard, is getting big. Her favorite thing to do is start kicking at the most inappropriate times. It is always such a nice reminder when I am standing in front of about 25 students and have her start playing soccer with my ribs while I am trying to explain something. The other day, I had to go to a training session about bullying, and I noticed that I could visibly see my belly move when she would kick. Naturally, a huge smile came across my face, but again at an inappropriate moment. I was sitting in the front row, right in front of the presenter. Here I am, pregnant, grinning from ear to ear while the presentor is talking about a child getting beat up so badly that he had to be taken to a hospital... I am a great teacher... I cannot believe that in only 11 short weeks my precious little girl will be here. I am so excited. I went to the doctor yesturday, and he said that I have only gained 14 pounds, which is super awesome. I was really afraid I would blow up... but so far so good. Calliope's room is slowly coming together. Still tons of stuff to do before she gets here, but I am blessed with a wonderful husband and a family that is ready to help any time that I need it.

For those of you that have been so nice and supportive, which is all of you who read this, I know I don't say it enough, but thank you and I love you. Yeah... Yeah... cheesy moment... Gonna blame the baby for it too. But seriously, y'all mean so much to me, and I am greatful that I have such a wonderful family that I can rely on, and I know I don't say it enough, but I am truly grateful for all that you have done for me. Well, I have an hour drive ahead of me, so I will be leaving this page for several more months probably...

Supposed to be...

So right now I am supposed to be writing a paper for my Master's class that is due tomorrow, so I will keep it brief. The move is officially days away, and I can't help but think we are no where near ready. Jared keeps saying we are, but my unpacked apartment says that we are not. And the fact that I am not even doing the things that I NEED to be doing in order to pack, doesn't help. I have the worst case of the "I don't wannas" I have ever had in my life. I have only packed maybe four boxes, and I am already sick of it. I thought moving was going to be fun, but not so much.

That is not to say that I am not terribly excited. In a matter of days I will be in my very own house. While that statement is small, the events that have been happening here at this complex have made me more and more ready to move. I came home yesterday, and on the bulletin board by the mailbox there was a five page list of all the crimes that have been committed in this area in the last couple months. They were mostly burglaries and mischief of that nature, but nothing I would be excited to be around. And more importantly things that I would not want my child around. I am also getting to be seranaded by the most obnoxious little kid I have ever heard, and I am around kids for a living, so that should tell you how annoying this child is.

I have come to the conclusion that I know just about nothing about raising a child. Everyone seems to think I am going to be this great mother, but I am not so sure myself. Yes, I know not to feed the kid lead paint and the the street is not the safest place to play, but other than that I am close to clueless. Thinking about it, all my experience comes from the last two years of my life for the most part. Ruben was the first (and only) diaper I have ever changed, and if you ask Jacob and Evann they would say that moment belongs on America's Funniest Home Videos because while they were watching me trying to keep my sweet baby nephew from eating... yeah well.... They were literally falling off the coach they were laughing so hard. And Aaron is the only baby that I have held before he could hold his head up on his own, and even now I am terrified to hold another baby that young.

I have concluded that I am going to make a ton of mistakes... No, more than a ton... An impossible number of mistakes that has no technical name because they have not ever counted that high... number of mistakes... And I am terrified. I had a cramp in my side today that nearly brought me to my knees, and my first thought was not "I hope my baby is all right!" It was "How much longer am I going to have to put up with this?" The baby is not even here, and I am already planning creative ways to punish him/her for all the pain that I am being caused.

I am down right selfish. I want my body back! It has only been 17 weeks, and I am already done! Well, not really though... October 7th can't come soon enough... That is when we get to find out if we are having Taggerd or Calliope. I can't wait for my little pain in the side to get here. I can't wait to see if he/she has my nose or Jared's beautiful blue eyes. I can't wait to meet the wonderful little person that will not only be partially me, but will also be Jared. I am looking forward to meeting him/her.

No one ever told me that I would be this scared or this excited, and at the same time. I have no idea who I will get to meet in a few short months, but I have never been so anxious for a day to get here than I am now.

Well, I have not been brief, and I have a paper to write and a apartment to pack, and I am going all mushy and hormonal I will save it for another time.

Baby's First Pictures

Today Jared and I went to my doctor's appointment. They set my due date for March 2, 2011, but Dr. Lamar said that it could be sooner because the baby looked a little curled up. He/she is my child, so it does not surprise me that he/she is all snuggled up just chilling... haha...

We also got to see and hear the heartbeat. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. At first when they showed us our little smudge, it was cool, but not that big of a deal, but when we heard and saw our baby's little heart beating, I cried. It was all so surreal before, but now I actually feel pregnant.



Here is our little smudge... Haha... The little yellow plus sign closer to the top of the black and white picture is the baby's head. The big red dot is the baby's heartbeat. So amazing!

Sick and tired... (quite literally)

So as I am sure all of you know, I am pregnant. Ryann said that I had to blog often so everyone would know what was going on. I will keep it short and sweet because I am supposed to be studying... :D I have my first baby doctor appointment on Monday, July 19 at 9:00. It is at Clinics of North Texas with Dr. Michael Lamar. It was kinda cool the way I found him. I had two friends at school recommend him within the same hour, so he sounded pretty good. He is also in my insurance network, so double bonus for Dr. Lamar. The people who recommended Dr. Lamar said he is really nice and personable. They also said that he explains everything without being condescending or making you feel like a moron. He sounded good to me so I decided to go with Dr. Lamar.

Aside from being extremely excited and happy, I am exhausted, and I get a good dose of morning sickness everyday. It is crazy to me that something the size of a grape could affect me so profoundly. I am excited about the end result, not the process. Nausea and vomiting accompanied by headaches are not fun. Katie and Ryann, I have to say you guys are my heroes right now because I have seen you bare your burden with a smile the whole time. When I am really feeling terrible, I think of you two and how you have had five rounds of this. You are both saints... Hopefully by the time school starts the morning sickness will go away. Well, I am back to studying. I will let y'all know more later.