Catching up...

I feel like this is rather pointless now that I live five minutes from those of you who will read this, but I figured that I should at least give a little blurb since it has been months since I have last written. So far life in Seymour, is everything that I expected: quiet, nice, and at times... well... boring. I am much more appreciative of having a Wal Mart right down the street, now that I don't have one. I am almost nostalgic for the times when I did not have a yard, because that meant that there was not a yard of the loudest dogs in all of history right beside it. There is something unnerving about walking to your car at 6:00 in the morning and then all the sudden hearing the ferocity of a booming bark only feet from you right as you are unlocking the door to the car. Oh, and the midnight seranades from the dogs are just Heavenly... I am finally getting used to the drive. I kind of like it to be honest. Jared and I have gotten to ride together every Monday, Thursday, and Friday, and it has been nice to be able to spend time with him in the morning. On the days that I have to drive alone, it gives me time to think.

The house is finally coming along. Slowly, but surely, the cardboard boxes are disappearing and the little things that make a house a home are coming together. I absolutely love my house, except for I think it is too big right now. We have almost completely shut off the two extra bedrooms, and only go in there when we absolutely have to, and that hall is endless. I never realized how convenient it was to have almost no space. At least then, when I was talking to Jared I knew he could hear me. So many times, I have enjoyed nice conversations with myself, thinking that Jared was right there, and come to find out he is a mile away in the living room.

Calliope, that is the baby's name for those of you who have not heard, is getting big. Her favorite thing to do is start kicking at the most inappropriate times. It is always such a nice reminder when I am standing in front of about 25 students and have her start playing soccer with my ribs while I am trying to explain something. The other day, I had to go to a training session about bullying, and I noticed that I could visibly see my belly move when she would kick. Naturally, a huge smile came across my face, but again at an inappropriate moment. I was sitting in the front row, right in front of the presenter. Here I am, pregnant, grinning from ear to ear while the presentor is talking about a child getting beat up so badly that he had to be taken to a hospital... I am a great teacher... I cannot believe that in only 11 short weeks my precious little girl will be here. I am so excited. I went to the doctor yesturday, and he said that I have only gained 14 pounds, which is super awesome. I was really afraid I would blow up... but so far so good. Calliope's room is slowly coming together. Still tons of stuff to do before she gets here, but I am blessed with a wonderful husband and a family that is ready to help any time that I need it.

For those of you that have been so nice and supportive, which is all of you who read this, I know I don't say it enough, but thank you and I love you. Yeah... Yeah... cheesy moment... Gonna blame the baby for it too. But seriously, y'all mean so much to me, and I am greatful that I have such a wonderful family that I can rely on, and I know I don't say it enough, but I am truly grateful for all that you have done for me. Well, I have an hour drive ahead of me, so I will be leaving this page for several more months probably...

Supposed to be...

So right now I am supposed to be writing a paper for my Master's class that is due tomorrow, so I will keep it brief. The move is officially days away, and I can't help but think we are no where near ready. Jared keeps saying we are, but my unpacked apartment says that we are not. And the fact that I am not even doing the things that I NEED to be doing in order to pack, doesn't help. I have the worst case of the "I don't wannas" I have ever had in my life. I have only packed maybe four boxes, and I am already sick of it. I thought moving was going to be fun, but not so much.

That is not to say that I am not terribly excited. In a matter of days I will be in my very own house. While that statement is small, the events that have been happening here at this complex have made me more and more ready to move. I came home yesterday, and on the bulletin board by the mailbox there was a five page list of all the crimes that have been committed in this area in the last couple months. They were mostly burglaries and mischief of that nature, but nothing I would be excited to be around. And more importantly things that I would not want my child around. I am also getting to be seranaded by the most obnoxious little kid I have ever heard, and I am around kids for a living, so that should tell you how annoying this child is.

I have come to the conclusion that I know just about nothing about raising a child. Everyone seems to think I am going to be this great mother, but I am not so sure myself. Yes, I know not to feed the kid lead paint and the the street is not the safest place to play, but other than that I am close to clueless. Thinking about it, all my experience comes from the last two years of my life for the most part. Ruben was the first (and only) diaper I have ever changed, and if you ask Jacob and Evann they would say that moment belongs on America's Funniest Home Videos because while they were watching me trying to keep my sweet baby nephew from eating... yeah well.... They were literally falling off the coach they were laughing so hard. And Aaron is the only baby that I have held before he could hold his head up on his own, and even now I am terrified to hold another baby that young.

I have concluded that I am going to make a ton of mistakes... No, more than a ton... An impossible number of mistakes that has no technical name because they have not ever counted that high... number of mistakes... And I am terrified. I had a cramp in my side today that nearly brought me to my knees, and my first thought was not "I hope my baby is all right!" It was "How much longer am I going to have to put up with this?" The baby is not even here, and I am already planning creative ways to punish him/her for all the pain that I am being caused.

I am down right selfish. I want my body back! It has only been 17 weeks, and I am already done! Well, not really though... October 7th can't come soon enough... That is when we get to find out if we are having Taggerd or Calliope. I can't wait for my little pain in the side to get here. I can't wait to see if he/she has my nose or Jared's beautiful blue eyes. I can't wait to meet the wonderful little person that will not only be partially me, but will also be Jared. I am looking forward to meeting him/her.

No one ever told me that I would be this scared or this excited, and at the same time. I have no idea who I will get to meet in a few short months, but I have never been so anxious for a day to get here than I am now.

Well, I have not been brief, and I have a paper to write and a apartment to pack, and I am going all mushy and hormonal I will save it for another time.

Baby's First Pictures

Today Jared and I went to my doctor's appointment. They set my due date for March 2, 2011, but Dr. Lamar said that it could be sooner because the baby looked a little curled up. He/she is my child, so it does not surprise me that he/she is all snuggled up just chilling... haha...

We also got to see and hear the heartbeat. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. At first when they showed us our little smudge, it was cool, but not that big of a deal, but when we heard and saw our baby's little heart beating, I cried. It was all so surreal before, but now I actually feel pregnant.



Here is our little smudge... Haha... The little yellow plus sign closer to the top of the black and white picture is the baby's head. The big red dot is the baby's heartbeat. So amazing!

Sick and tired... (quite literally)

So as I am sure all of you know, I am pregnant. Ryann said that I had to blog often so everyone would know what was going on. I will keep it short and sweet because I am supposed to be studying... :D I have my first baby doctor appointment on Monday, July 19 at 9:00. It is at Clinics of North Texas with Dr. Michael Lamar. It was kinda cool the way I found him. I had two friends at school recommend him within the same hour, so he sounded pretty good. He is also in my insurance network, so double bonus for Dr. Lamar. The people who recommended Dr. Lamar said he is really nice and personable. They also said that he explains everything without being condescending or making you feel like a moron. He sounded good to me so I decided to go with Dr. Lamar.

Aside from being extremely excited and happy, I am exhausted, and I get a good dose of morning sickness everyday. It is crazy to me that something the size of a grape could affect me so profoundly. I am excited about the end result, not the process. Nausea and vomiting accompanied by headaches are not fun. Katie and Ryann, I have to say you guys are my heroes right now because I have seen you bare your burden with a smile the whole time. When I am really feeling terrible, I think of you two and how you have had five rounds of this. You are both saints... Hopefully by the time school starts the morning sickness will go away. Well, I am back to studying. I will let y'all know more later.

Mom's New Look (Finally)

So I finally talked my mom into abandoning the 80's. The 80's were cruel to the looks of people. I have pictures of my bangs that looked like a football on my forehead and nasty curly perms. I luckily left those bad memories back in the 80's. My mom on the other hand kept that nasty perm. Finally after years of trying to bring her into the new era, she finally went for it and got a modern haircut and straightened out the perm... Here are some pictures. She doesn't even look like the same person...



Before (With the nasty perm)
















After, all straight and pretty!

Technology Distractions

Jared and I got our new computer on Thursday, and we got the internet at our house. Since Thursday evening, Jared and I am been taking turning wasting hours at a time on the thing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my new computer, and I love the the convenience of having internet access at my home, but I think we are a little out of hand. Although, I will say that I got to finish Dean Koontz's Frankenstein: Prodigal Son while it was Jared's turn. It is amazing!!! Obviously I am not too upset by this technology distraction because I am on it right now while Jared is play the PlayStation 2. Now I will be able to blog all the time, but I won't so don't expect it...

Aside from the internet taking up half of our lives here lately, Jared has been reorganizing iTunes... We have 13.7 days worth of music, if you were to play it consecutively 24/7. That is a lot. I never thought I would be into the whole IPod thing, but today I officially filled mine up, and I am convinced I need a bigger one, but not really though. I love how when I get something, and I don't think I will use it, and it turns out I cannot live without it. That is what happened with the IPod. It is so convenientto have my 1200+ songs anywhere at any time. I high recommend getting one if you are considering it. It is so worth it. Especially those nostalgic trips down memory lane. Those are super fun...

So far my summer staycation has been nothing but a giant time waster, but I am all right with that. It is nice to do nothing but sleep, read, watch movies, play on the computer, and just be. I think it is wonderful that Jared and I are able to do that together. This is the first time since I was 14 that I have not had to work, and I am loving every moment of my laziness. Well I guess I will go back to playing my games... for hours upon hours...

The Ending of an Adventure

Friday marks the end of my first year of teaching, and I have to say it has been a wild ride. Well, the first semester, I was just a student teacher, but I did everything I do now, so I think it still gets to count. I remember the first day, back in August with my first real class of students, and then getting to feel the same way again back in January when I took over for a teacher who got promoted. I was so nervous. I was afraid that I would fail my students in some way, and in turn fail myself. I remember worrying that I would do a bad job and that my students would hate me.

Here I am days away from the end of the school year, and I think overall that it was a great year. As most of you know I have been teaching TAKS English juniors. All the kids, except one, in my classes did not pass their TAKS test last year, and it was a concern that they may not pass this year. The eleventh grade test decides if they get to graduate or not. I had one student who had not passed it since she was in the third grade, so this test can be a big deal. We really worked this semester to get those kids where they needed to be. I felt so proud when we got the scores, and I saw how well they did. I got to tell the girl who had not passed since the third grade that she passed the one that counted. I gave her a big hug, and she started crying... It was so emotional for me and her. I am so proud!

Earlier in the year, one of my students asked me if I had any kids, and I told him no. I quickly changed my mind, and I told him that I have about 30 16,17-year-old babies. He jokingly calls me mom now because of it.

I definitely think this year was a success. Reflecting back, and learning a ton, I know I am where I am supposed to be, and I could not imagine doing anything else. I suppose I am one of the lucky ones who was able to find my calling in life early on. I have known that I was destined to be a teacher since the third grade. Now at twenty-three, I am living my dream. It is crazy to think that I am really that lucky.

I have a wonderful husband, who is the best friend I could ever ask for, and I am the "proud momma" of 30 of the most wonderful kids I know... What more could I ask for?

It matters

Life has been kind of hectic here lately, and I have felt so swamped. I have a big research paper due on Tuesday; the following Tuesday I have a presentation that I have to give; I had a paper due on Wednesday; I had 12 questions over one the the most boring books I have ever had to read on Tuesday.(I do not recommend Virginia Wolfe's Mrs. Dalloway); Finals are coming up... Just one thing after another, or so it seems. I was supposed to go visiting teaching on Thursday, but since I was feeling so swamped, I told Jared that I was just going to call and cancel because it was just too much for me right now.

On the way to class on Tuesday night, I realized that I had a voicemail, and it was from one of the sisters on my route. I had written her a letter last month because I did not have time to go visit her in person. She is the only member in her family, and she is getting married and sealed in June to a member who lives in Utah. She is facing all sorts of problems with moving and preparing. She is a single mother of two kids; she works; she is graduating in May from MSU; she has her plate full, needless to say. She is also getting no support from her family either. In fact, they are creating more problems for her.

I really like going visiting teaching. I will say that I am not ever excited about the preparation that it takes to actually get to visit teach: the calling, scheduling, the reading (not that it is a lot)and all the rest of that mess. It is just kind of hard to coordinate everything, and it always seems to come at a time when I just don't feel like doing it, but when I go, I always come home happy and glad that I went. Anyways to the point...

The message that was left on my voicemail was so sweet. The sister, with tears and gratitude in her voice, told me how my letter came at just the right time, and that my words had touched her and helped her. She told me about all that she was going through and how getting a letter that was just for her meant so much to her.

I have to say that most times when I go visiting teaching or write a letter to one of the sisters that I visit, I feel like that it is all just a nice gesture. I feel like I don't really do a whole lot of good. Sometimes I feel like I don't have much to offer because I have not been a member that long, and the people that I visit teach have been members for years and years. But this sister let me know that what I did for her mattered.

After hearing the message, I texted Jared and told him that I had changed my mind. Yesterday, I got to go visiting teaching, and both the sisters that we got to see thanked us so much for taking our time to come see them. One of those sisters was the woman who left me that message on my phone. We just helped her pack because she has to have her house ready to sell by next week. She was so grateful for our help, and while we were packing she told me again how much my letter meant to her. She told me that she had read it to her fiance', and she said she cried through the whole letter with him.

The whole point to my long lengthy story is that the things that we do matter, even when we do not think so.

About 10 pounds lighter or so it seems...

So yesterday I cut my hair. Not just a trim, more like a chop... It is barely touching my shoulder, and I have layers in it. I will have to put the before and after pictures on here when I get a chance, but don't hold your breath on that one. I really like it, and even Jared likes it, which is a huge surprise. I thought he would hate it because it is short, or at least it is short compared to what I had. Super short actually. I have these little bang things that get in my face. Seriously how can people stand it have their dadgum hair in their face. It drives me nuts.

After I got my hair cut, I stopped by Target to get some clips because I can't put it all up without them, and it was really windy. So I am trucking along, walking to the car, and the hair goes in the face. Well, I kind of toss my head over to the side, like normal people do, but my head is about ten pounds lighter, and I nearly break my neck. I have done it twice more today, and I know people must be thinking I have turrets or something.

I was also told that I look more sophisticated and polished, and it makes me wonder how bad, I looked before. It is drastic in my opinion, but I like it. I think short haired Jessica will hang out for a while... Maybe...

New Distraction

So this past week I got an IPod, and I am addicted. It is pretty pathetic. In October I got Jared one for his birthday, and every so often I would listen to it when I was bored. According to Jared, I have embarrassing taste in music, and he said that it would ruin his reputation if someone found out that he had certain songs on his IPod, so he decided I needed on. My question was who would be looking at his IPod, but anyways... I thought that I would never use the IPod, and it would be yet another wonderful toy that I look at and think "Wow... I actually spend money on that!" But Jared talked me into it, and now I have this adorable pink IPod. It is the coolest thing. It will even let me rewind the radio! How cool is that? I also have over 600 songs at my finger tips, so whatever mood I randomly adopt, I have the song to go along with it.

The best part it that I have all the music from when I was younger on it, and I can cruise down memory lane and giggle at what a dork I was... Or am rather, but I cool with that. It is wonderful.

I am even finding reasons to incorporate music into my lessons at school, so that I can use it. My students are loving it too. Today we watched movie clips about Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Beyonce, Tupac, and Brad Paisley to practice note taking skills. They ate it up! On Thursday, I am bringing in my amazing little music machine to allow them to hear a couple songs from Bob Dylan and David Bowie as our opening exercise because they did not know what music they played. The movie clips were biographical. They are excited about learning the material too, so that is a bonus. Technology is awesome.

I love my new little toy...

Why I teach...

So I have this little girl, well she is 17, but a little girl none the less, and I have been working with her for about a month now on reading skills. She absolutely hated reading when we started!!! Hated it, and even got emotional about it because she felt she was terrible at reading, and I have to say that it was pretty bad.

Wednesday she comes up to me and tells me that she went to the library and found a book that she is really enjoying. She also told me that she had gone to the library and tried two other books before getting a book she could read on her own, but she never gave up! Today she comes up to me and tells me that she had finished reading the book and is looking for another. She was so proud of herself for being able to read the book by herself, and I am super proud of this little girl too!!! She has come such a long way in just a month. I think this is the first book that she has ever read on her own. I didn't assign it, and I didn't make her get the book. She did it all on her own!

I asked her what she thought about reading now that she has some skills to help her through, and she told me that she really likes reading now! She was so excited to get another book! It is a simple thing, but I can say if I don't have any other successes this year, I know I am where I am supposed to be. That young lady, although she doesn't know it, has given me such a wonderful gift. I was just hoping to help her struggle less, but now she has a love for books, which is like gold to an English teacher! I am so grateful that I am where I am!

Why am I blogging?

I was told some time ago that I needed to start blogging to keep my family in the loop as to what is going on with Jared and me. I, like the "good" person I am, have not done this... until now... I suppose better late than never! I think it was over a year ago that Ryann, or Susan, or someone else said that they never knew what was going on with us, and God knows I have no clue as to what they go through on a daily basis. It has been pressing on me for some time now how much I do not get to see my family, and frankly it sucks! I miss so much. It seems like it has been longer and longer between visits to see everyone, and I can say that it has definitely taken a great affect on me. I don't know who is doing what and what is happening. Then when I do find out it is irrelevant, so this is my effort to remedy that.

I honestly do not know when I will blog or what I have that I think is so amazing to "write down," but I at least made the attempt to be more connected. (Or that is what I am going to tell myself!)

For those who read this know that I am a very boring person, so please do expect anything spectacular. I don't have kids (other than my 35 babies that I teach who are juniors in high school. Yes they are babies, and there are times when I am gladly not their mama, so I won't be able to put anything cute about them, and all in all Jared and I are couch potatoes, although we actaully got off our butts and went to work out yesturday, and we bought all healthy foods when we went shopping. We will see how long that lasts...

So for whoever told me to blog here is! Finally...